Self-Care Sunday 18 Rituals That I’d Actually Do Again By Rhea Roberts We tested over 50 Self Care Sunday rituals to see what was full of goop and what was full of gold. Turns out, some of the best things in life really are free. I’m not a fan of fads. A lot of what I’ve heard about self-care rituals often sounds a bit too ‘woo’. At the same time I have been struggling quite a bit over the last year. Like many of us, life in lockdown dramatically changed, well, everything. Including my job, my husband’s job, our vulnerable family members, our whole way of life. Everything. It all got too much and I, like so many other women, struggled with my mental health. Research from Cambridge University even shows that Covid-19 and it’s impacts have negatively impacted the mental health of women more than any other group. As they put it: “As a result of the lockdown measures, the existing gender gap in mental health has increased by 66%. The negative effect on women’s mental health cannot be explained by an increase in financial worries or childcare responsibilities.” Armed with the scientific method, a longing for a rest and a suitably open mind I got to work scouring the internet for Self Care Sunday rituals to test out. As I could only get bursts of ‘me time’ in I have to confess it didn’t all take place on one glorious Sunday. Instead I had the luxury (for me anyway with a young family) of an hour or two here or there in evenings and weekends. This was actually a blessing which I’ll come back to later. I got a list of 50 and then scrupulously sorted the goop from the gold. The end product? 18 Self-Care Sunday Rituals that actually work Not only do they work but they're inexpensive and realistic for people with lots of responsibilities doing their best in a very challenging situation. For all the doctors, nurses, keyworkers, parents and in truth - everyone out there reading this: I hope you find at least one thing on this list that encourages you to practice self care and help make things a little better for you. You deserve it. So, after trying out all that was to offer, here’s what I learned… The 18 Self care Sunday Rituals you have to try this weekend. 1. Wake Up To Uplifting Music As soon as you get up, set the scene with some music. Either on headphones or your speakers. Go for something relaxing or uplifting to ease you into the day while you make a tea or fix some breakfast. Try something you’ve not listened to in a long time that you love. It’s also good to prep this in advance so you’re not eating into decent self-care Sunday time scrolling through Spotify. If you are stuck for inspiration try one of these playlists: Not a playlist but one of my all time favourites for Sunday morning chill (or any moment of peace just for me): 2. Shower Meditation Take your time in a long, hot shower, no rushing. Everything can wait today. Focus on your breath and the feel of the water hitting your body. Use the falling water as a way to do a body scan meditation. Starting at your feet, pay attention to the sensation of the water and the shower tray or bath, then your calves, knees and so on all the way up to your head. Just focusing on how each part feels and nothing else, just giving your attention. If your attention wanders, simply bring it back again to the feel of the water on your body without judgment. At the end, try and see if you can hold all of your body in attention at the same time. 3. Write Down Your Goals In The Present Tense I found this advice from multiple sources, ranging from hippy-dippy crystal wavers to some old white guy CEO and plenty in between so I gave it a go and have kept doing it since, it goes nicely with point 4. Here’s the idea: the subconscious brain holds great power but is difficult to engage with unless using emotion. By using the present tense, e.g. “I am XXX” or “I have…”, “I do …” etc., you can trick the subconscious into more easily triggering an emotional response and through repetition, your subconscious mind will take it on board Additionally, you start to believe it and inhabit it and it becomes your focus. Make a list and then focus on achieving the most important one on the list at a time until you achieve it, then move on to the next. Where your attention goes, your energy flows. So point it in the right direction, inhabit it, live it, let your full mind join the journey and help you out. 4. Make A Vision Board Building on point 3, put your goals into images and pin a vision board somewhere you will see it everyday and schedule time to look at it. Use Canva, Pages, PowerPoint, anything that lets you make a collage of photos of the things that represent your goals. I put mine above my computer on the wall so I can look up at it at any time and remind myself what I’m working towards. It keeps you focused, makes great encouragement and cements your vision of the life you want to live. The practice of making one is enjoyable and therapeutic and the outcomes aren’t magic, it’s just common sense that if you focus on something you are more likely to achieve it than if you let your mind scatter. 5. Skincare Is Self Care There is a lot to be said for turning your routine into a ritual. I like to leave a thick layer of Night Boost on my skin for about 15-20 mins, as a face mask, to let it soak in. Whatever you choose to do, take your time with it, almost like another meditation and treat the whole act as your time. Light a candle, put some tunes on, make out like you’re at a spa and properly indulge yourself. It feels amazing to treat yourself with the time and attention you deserve and you get to improve your skin at the same time, which made me feel even better. 6. Dancing and Singing Resist the temptation to give a damn about your ability to either sing or dance or if anyone can hear or see you. Crank some of your favourite tunes, sing along, move around, dance with the dog, your partner or your kids, just move and have fun. This one was awesome. I put on some 90s RnB classics, then some Parliament Funkadelic, followed by Toxic by Britney Spears. All while still in a dressing gown and slippers smashing out my best Mum moves. The kids loved it, my husband nearly did himself an injury and the dog had a ball. 7. Journaling Get yourself a notebook and don’t tell anyone about it. Promise yourself to always write as if no one will ever read this aside from you. This is your private space, an extension of your mind that you can use to think and store useful information. Write about how you are feeling - identify the emotions, don’t run away, lean into them and explore. Remind yourself to come back to these notes in a few days and review. It’s great to flick through old pages and see them more clearly, almost as a passive observer as you’re left with the words, no longer filled with the emotion that created them even though reading them will give you some of that feeling back again. It can be really cathartic to put words to thoughts and feelings and let them see the light of day. Many will perish, others will flourish and therein lies the charm. Left unexamined your thoughts and emotions can get you in a tangle. The simple act of thinking things through enough to be able to write them down and then being able to more accurately reflect on them, is the mental equivalent of cultivating a garden. Got to weed out the negativity and grow the good, which takes effort. So give yourself the time to make the effort - that’s what self care Sunday routines are all about. 8. Meditation - Two More Approaches To Try Download the Calm app (it is paid, so if this is a dealbreaker just see below) and try out a 10min meditation of your choosing. I highly recommend a Gratitude meditation (more on that below) Want a free guided meditation? We've made one just for you - the focus is on the breath and fostering positive self-esteem. Have a listen, give it a go and let us know how you get on with it in the comments. download FREE guided meditation 9. Breathing Exercises Try circular breathing. You inhale to the count of 4. Hold your breath for 4. Exhale for 4. Then hold for 4. Repeat. It’s that simple. The point is to focus on your breathing - counting your breath and breathing purposefully makes this more easily achieved as it gives your brain something to do. This helps to stop it wandering off into thinking about something that happened in the past or something that has yet to happen, AKA worrying or dwelling, which are the cornerstones of anxiety. 10. Exercise At Sunrise Or Sunset This one was also great but certainly enhanced by Spring and Summer, when this is an absolute joy. I started timing my runs with the sun in mind and my favourite is sunrise - I’m just too lazy to run at the end of the day so instead I get out of bed, drink some water, get my running stuff on and go. If you don’t run you could just as easily go for a walk or ride your bike. All of a sudden my workout had the most epic backdrop, I could more easily attune to what nature was doing as I became more aware of the light and how it made everything I so often took for granted, look amazing. Totally worth the early rise and made me feel good all day. 11. Play The Grateful Game This has now become a staple in our household and I’m so pleased that my children have taken to this as it just makes me so proud that they get it and now do it without thinking about it. It’s so simple - take it in turns to ask and tell each other one thing that you are grateful for. If you are by yourself, write it down or say it aloud. Try and do it everyday for a week to embed the idea and then do it whenever you want. Practising gratitude is a super simple life-hack for good mental health, do not underestimate how powerful such a simple act can be. Enjoying it more than you thought? Take it to the next level and start writing a gratitude journal. Here are some more quick ideas: 12. Stretching Or Yoga This really helps me see, feel, and accept my body and as I get into the moves it helps my mind to switch off. I’ve not gone full-blown yoga mad yet but I can now see why it’s so popular. Maybe once the Covid restrictions are gone I might actually join a yoga class… 13. Do At Least ONE Thing You Enjoy Watch an episode of a favourite show, play an instrument, paint your nails, pick up your favourite dessert. I read a book for 30 mins with a slice of cake and some nice music on in the background. It was like going back in time to when I used to go to a cafe for some peace and quiet with a good book and an oat milk latte. Funny how such simple pleasures seem so out of reach now. Definitely adding this to my gratitude journal. 14. Do Your Nails Slowly, by yourself and without distraction. File, shape and paint no need to go crazy, just keep it simple. 15. Be In Nature There is so much research out there to back this one up (there’s even a whole research institute based on it). Being in green or blue spaces has huge benefits for mental health and wellbeing. Our bodies and brains have evolved in relationship to our natural environment over millions of years. As much as some of you may hate camping, the great outdoors is our natural setting and it provides great relief from the stresses of the world we have created on top of it. 16. Friends And Family Lockdown really showed me just how important this one is and how easily it can be overlooked. Make time to eat together, go for a walk, call each other. No one to talk to? Go on Clubhouse and start a room or listen in on others talking about a positive topic. Find a chat room online. Go to a park, beach or public space and start a conversation with someone, help them out with something or ask a question. 17. Cake This made me very happy. Obvious, simple. Why not? 18. Read Some Great Quotes The internet is awash with these but here are a couple on self-care that I enjoyed: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” - Anne Lamott “Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” - Deborah Day “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” - Brené Brown Find some you like, print them off, write them down or screenshot them and remind yourself of them throughout the day. Enjoy Your Self Care Sunday As I said at the beginning, I didn’t actually do all this on one day, I spaced it out. That in itself was fantastic and made a real difference for me as it kept me focused on the whole process for longer as even though I had limited time, I was thinking about it more often. If you do have the time for a full Sunday - go for it, you will have a wonderful day. Dedicating a day to yourself and trying new ways to be good to yourself is some of the best medicine going. And, as all these self care Sunday rituals don’t cost a penny, sometimes the best things in life really are free.
